Sparkle

Last week I spent recharging my battery with Grandma Joyce.  The intent of my visit was to be at her every beck and call, help her recharge her battery.  I cooked pasta two nights in a row just because she loves pasta. I made one of her all time favorite dishes -- stew -- to praises.  I baked scones.  Successfully. Cooking for the woman who is largely responsible for my culinary skill was not so much intimidating.  Simply, I wanted to make her proud. I kept picking her brains for her trade secrets -- how much of this, how long for that.  After eating my eggplant parmesan, which the recipe is entirely different from hers and my mom's, she gave me the best food compliment I have ever received.  She said my food sparkles.

You know what internet, my Grandma Joyce sparkles.

I have been incredibly lucky to be raised by two women, my mom and my grandma.  She's nearly eighty-six years old and is the sharpest, wittiest and hippest women I have had the pleasure of hanging around (and I have her genes).  I am lucky to have two moms.  Yesterday, Grandma received less than stellar news.  There is an asshole strain of cancer growing inside of her.  Yes, a shitty, mean, uninvited asshole.

I am collecting every ounce of positive, hopeful, loving energy and sending it her way. If you are reading this, send some love and light her way, because she has lots of sparkling left to do.

One of our sparkly breakfasts.

Another, blueberry scones.

I will make those scones again this week for guide school here at the Lodge.  The Great Samoan Hunter asked if I would play chef for the next seven days since his real chef doesn't start until April 1.  Here's to hoping these guides think my food sparkles, as well.

Pumpkin bread: enjoyable for all, even those lacking chompers

Yesterday I finished my last wellness workshop for the year.  For six weeks I stress to my participants the importance of exercise and healthful eating, among other things, and try to set a good example by sharing my own health-oriented goals: drinking more water, practicing relaxation techniques, increasing my yoga practice, upping my fruit intake.  To celebrate the last class we always have a party to cheer our success in completing the six weeks.  Tell me how convincing I must be as a wellness educator -- yesterday the potluck table was covered in cookies, cake, deviled eggs, potato salad.  They made me so proud.

My contribution to the mayonnaise smorgasbord was pumpkin bread. Chalk another one up for Hailey in the epic baking battle.  I had a number of people in class who, get this, had no teeth, so I wanted to be sure to bring something everyone could enjoy.  This bread would be delicious with the addition of chocolate chips or even butterscotch chips, pecans would be tasty, too.   

No one was injured in this baking melee.  

Except my shirt.  Dirty little devil.

8 on the cuteness scale.  

9 on the tastiness scale.

Pumpkin bread

adapted from epicurious

3 cups pumpkin -- almost 2 15 oz cans

3 1/2 cups flour

1 cup sugar

1 cup brown sugar, packed

2 tsps baking soda

2 tsps baking powder

1 tsp salt

1 heaping tsp pumpkin pie spice

1 tsp cinnamon

1/2 tsp nutmeg

1 tsp vanilla extract

1 cup vegetable oil

4 eggs

3/4 cup butter milk (or regular milk with a splash of white vinegar)

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees.  In one bowl, combine the flour, salt, baking soda, baking powder, pumpkin spice, nutmeg and cinnamon.  In a larger bowl, blend the white sugar, brown sugar, pumpkin and vanilla with an electric mixture.  Beat in the oil until combined and then add one egg at a time.  Working in thirds, add the flour mixture to the pumpkin, then add one third of the milk.  Repeat with the rest of the flour and milk until the batter is smooth. Don't overdo it.  

Pour the batter into greased bread pans -- this made one large and three small.  Bake the smaller loafs for about 45 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean.  The larger loaf took about an hour and 20 minutes.  

What did I love most? The bacon.

First thing's first. I just purchased new coffee.  I ran out of my safe, organic, free-trade dark roast, and I decided to try something that has been taunting me for months: Dunkin' Donuts.  To be honest, their commercials are to blame.  I love those sleepy, jammy-clad women being drug  by their coffee cups into the coffee isle.  I relate to those women -- I am that woman each and every woman except I stagger to my coffee pot sans coffee cup, and I am not nearly as cute.

Anyway, commercial aside, their coffee is not bad.  Oddly, it smells buttery.  I was plowed over by the sweet buttery smell this morning when I opened the bag.  I would encourage you to buy a bag just to experience this.  

Moving on!  As I mentioned, I was shocked by the Irish fare.  Shocked and tickled.  In fact, my guidebook was enormously helpful in pointing out the culinary gold mines.  My travel partner, Krista, wanted to visit castles.  I wanted to visit cafes.  Go figure.

Ireland is experiencing a food revolution similar to our slow food movement.  Local farmers and producers are marrying well with local chefs and restaurant owners and as a result, Ireland has become a foodie's paradise.  Had I had more time and more money (obviously), I would have stayed for one of the many food festivals that were taking place the week after my departure.  Damn the timing! 

To kick things off, here is the full Irish breakfast.  Sausage, eggs, tomato, beans, the BEST BACON IN THE WORLD, white and black pudding.  I have heard rumors of this bacon.  I had to taste it to believe it.  It looks similar to our Canadian bacon -- thicker, less fatty -- but it tastes just like our bacon.  A.M.A.Z.I.N.G.  

Black and white pudding. For those of you who are squeamish, skip this part but really, put on your big girl panties.  Black pudding is in fact made mainly of blood, and the recipe varies a little, but the congealed blood is typically combined with grains, potatoes, bread and spices.  White pudding is made with pork. It tastes just like my mom's scrapple recipe, which is ground pork and cornmeal.  No one was entirely sure what makes up white pudding (oddly), but what I could gather from the most helpful waitress is it is made of ground pork and other entrails plus the grains, etc.  Both were very tasty, however, I did particularly love the white pudding.  Probably because it tasted like home.

What did I love the most, though?  The bacon.  I will go back one day just for the BACON.

Cutest little sugar cubes.

Marmalade tastes better in Ireland.

Bacon!

Black pudding: don't dog it 'till you try it.

Voting!!! and swoon-worthy sausage

It's Monday, September 20. Guess what that means? VOTING begins today for the Foodbuzz Project Food Blog competition! I feel like a radio announcer. All my loyal fans and readers -- all three of you -- please hustle over to Foodbuzz and vote. Please and thank you.

Here's how: click on my jazzy Foodbuzz profile to the right. This magically transports you to Foodbuzz where you will have to create an account to vote if you don't already belong to Foodbuzz. Don't panic. No credit card numbers or first borns will have to be traded -- just an email and password. You will then be armed with voting power. Vote on, good readers. Vote on.

In addition to coercing you to vote, I do have a recipe for this fine Monday morning.

Breakfast is my favorite meal to cook. Oddly, though, I am a horrific breakfast eater. In fact, my healthful and delicious breakfast of yogurt and granola is sitting mostly untouched to my right, but I am working on my third cup of coffee. Go figure.

The following recipe is noteworthy. The following recipe is company-worthy. The following recipe ROCKS JIMMY DEAN'S WORLD: homemade blueberry maple breakfast sausage. This sausage takes no time to throw together, it's fun to mush around, you can control the spice, and people, the combination of the sweet and salty and spicy is cosmic.

You will not be surprised to hear the following words coming out of my mouth, but, this is the best breakfast sausage on the planet. I can't wait to try other combinations -- nectarines or apples, ground elk sausage with huckleberries. Can you imagine? Swoon.

While I am dreaming of sausage recipes, please please please click on my profile and vote! I will love you forever and ever. Amen. Praise Jebus. Hallelujah. xoH

Jane's crazy mixed-up salt should be in your seasoning arsenal. If it's not, go buy some. Salty goodness.

I love how the pork tinges purple.

Eggs cooked in the same pan as the sausage = Good.

Blueberry maple breakfast sausage

1 lb ground pork

1 handful (about 1/2 cup) fresh blueberries, chopped

2 tbs fresh sage, chopped

1 tbs fresh thyme, chopped

1 tsp garlic salt

1 tsp black pepper

1 tsp salt

1.5 tsp crushed red pepper flakes (more if you like it spicier)

2 - 3 tbs maple syrup

In a bowl, combine the sage, thyme and spices. Stir well. Next add the pork, blueberries and syrup -- I use my hands to mix it all up. Form into patties. I fry them first in a skillet and then finish them off in the oven for about ten minutes to ensure they are cooked through. Serve hot and enjoy!

I NEED YOUR FEEDBACK!

You'll notice a new piece of flare on my site: Project Food Blog. This is a contest sponsored by my publisher -- Foodbuzz. I use the word publisher lightly, as they merely place ads on my site. No glorious cookbook or writing offer has fallen in my lap . . . yet. That's why this contest has the prospect of being so exciting. For those of you who are familiar with me and my wily antics know that nothing makes my toes curl more than the possibility of cooking and writing and getting paid for it. My heart sings at that thought.

So . . . over the coming weeks I will be participating in cooking and blogging challenges. (Hopefully I will make it past the first challenge). However, I need your assistance in this process. Why do you enjoy stopping by Hail's Kitchen? What sets my little site apart from the gazilians of others out there in the blog-o-sphere? What recipes do you like? What recipes do you not like? What would you like to see more of? Feel free to post a comment or email me at hailskitchen@gmail.com if you're bashful, but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE it's just one teensy little request. I will love you forever and ever. xoH

My profile will be live on the Foodbuzz site soon so pop on over there and check it out, also check out the other thousands of folks who will be competing. This surely will be fun . . . or in addition to the myriad other things on my plate, it might cause a nervous breakdown. Either way, entertaining posts coming your way, friends!

I have to share my latest obsession with you all this morning: Greek yogurt. I'm sure you've all heard the health hype, which is all valid, but what you probably haven't heard is how darn TASTY it is.

This is honey flavor. It is thick and creamy and rich. I will NEVER buy regular yogurt again. Seriously, this stuff blows yoplait out of the water. Try it. You will love it.

Embracing my inner Greek goddess: greek yogurt, granola, blueberries and banana.

Mexican omelette and vacuum fluff

Today has been one of those days -- you know the days where you should have crawled back in bed and started the day over fresh. The kind of day when you learn that your funding agency is potentially eliminating your position, when you receive an exorbitant number of bills in the mail -- conveniently at the same time, and if you're me, you knock the trash can over THREE times full of vacuum fluff. Yes ma'am, the lump in the back of my throat can go away right about now.

However, looking at the next series of photos, which were thoughtfully taken by my mom and dad while I snoozed upstairs, helps me to realize that despite all of the shit that I trudged through today, my little corner of the universe is pretty content . . . lump dissipating.

Here's the mexican omelette recipe I promised yesterday. It is super easy to whip up and oh so delicious. Try it for brunch this weekend -- it's a crowd pleaser. Happy Friday despite my Oscar the Grouch post. I hope your day didn't involve vacuum fluff. xoH

Watch out Pioneer Woman, School Nurse (AKA my mom) is coming to get ya!

Layer green chiles on the bottom of a baking pan.

Lovingly sprinkle cheese.

One dozen eggs.

Whip up with a container of sour cream and some milk.

Pour in egg mixture.

Bake for one hour at 350 degrees.

Let stand fifteen minutes before cutting.

Cut into squares.

Love the jungle plates.

My mom's recipe.

Instructions for the weekend: blow some stuff up for me!

I've posted lots of photos of my farm antics recently, but the other pastime that has stolen my attention has been fishing. My fishing gear gathered a fine layer of dust during my years in Utah, but my return to Idaho has restored my affection, plus I have a friend who graciously lets me tag along in his drift boat.

I wish I had more HUGE fish photos for you today, but I find myself taking photos of random items in the boat, grass, people's shirts. We do catch fish and photos are taken, but I'm not related to those people, and I can't exploit them on my site like I do my family. Thanks, family, for allowing me to exploit you. One day soon I'll post of a photo of me and an enormous fish. Until then, here are some randoms.

Have a great Fourth of July, all! Grill a yummy burger, drink a cold beverage and blow some stuff up for me! xoH

Token food photo.

Two days in a row I ate breakfast!

Internet, are you proud or what?

Get the caboose moving

Breakfast and I have a love hate relationship. I love to cook breakfast, but I normally hate to eat it unless it is after 11:00 a.m. I just can't be bothered with anything other than coffee before then. Being a health educator who touts the value of breakfast -- breaking the body's fast from a night of rest is very important to "get the caboose moving," (a favorite quotation from one of my students) -- I should listen to my own advice. Should.

I made an effort today to consume something other than my daily caffeine fuel. I had leftover cooked barley from earlier in the week and some raspberries. Voila! I added some rice milk -- cow's milk and I had a falling out in college, similar but not as hateful to my falling out with my old friend Jose Cuervo -- chopped almonds and raspberries. The barley was much more fun to eat than oatmeal. Oatmeal is ooey and gooey and difficult to swallow. Barley's like individual pearls of goodness. My caboose is moving.

I love you Lester.

Because I don't want to offend anyone and get spanked by a reader, I am offering a word of caution. If art mirrors life and this website is a reflection of my life (in part, at least), the following anecdote is indicative of who I am in life: often inappropriate. I don't mean to offend anyone, but it's the internet, and some people have lost their funny bone.

That said, I want you to meet a new of friend of mine. This new friend has revolutionized my life on the farm. This new friend has made my muscles less sore, my back less achy, and my hours of pulling weeds less arduous.

Meet Lester, Lester the weed molester.

Lester is resting on a wagon wheel adorned with the name Owyhee Nugget. The Owyhee Nugget was a weekly newspaper my parents owned and operated when I was baby, but that's a story for another time.

Back to my new friend. Lester does this to weeds:

The roots are ripped right out the ground. While Lester doesn't run without human exertion, Lester sure saves time and effort. I pulled about five piles just like the one below.

Someday the farm will be weed-free (relatively speaking), and I'll be able to spend more time planting and less time plucking. While I was busy weeding, Belle was busy chewing on sticks:

Look at how dexterous she is.

If only she had opposable thumbs . . . the weeds wouldn't stand a chance.

I can hear my mom's reaction to the following recipe, that's weird, she'll say. Hell no! The following dish is the epitome of comfort food. Eggs on toasts are jazzed up with a spicy tomato sauce. Who would have thought -- poaching eggs in tomato sauce? Genius, I say. Delicious genious.

Garlic and red chili flakes.

Crushed tomatoes would work too.

Toasted bread rubbed with a clove of garlic.

I am not going to lie, I was more than a little scared to

crack eggs in perfectly good tomato sauce.

They bubbled up and did their thing.

It was kind of strange.

Those eggs were tasty, tasty.

Eggs poached in tomato sauce

adapted from Smitten Kitchen

Because I am lazy and I want to give her fabulous site love, please visit Smitten Kitchen for this super fast, super delicious recipe. xoH

*I added lemon zest to the sauce because I love me some lemon zest in my tomato sauce. Other that, the recipe was made as posted*