Whole-assing it

I had a professor recently describe the feeling I am experiencing right now as gray -- not sad or bummed out -- just stuck in an in between space.  Have you ever felt like this?  Since my return from the most epic love event ever, I haven't been able to catch up.  I don't like to do anything half-assed.  I like to shove the entire thing in and wiggle it around for all to see.

What has also contributed to my grayness is the fact that my employment contract expires in less than one month, which means that not only does my miniscule income cease, but also my health insurance.  If you know anything about me -- you know that I was gifted a lemon for a body at birth and would sooner go without coffee than health insurance.  Yes, serious commitment.

But, grayness aside, I spoke to a good friend on the phone last night who reminded me that me things always fall into place.  If I keep on keeping on (sticking my ass in with full gusto) it will all work out.  

As I drink my coffee this morning and enjoy the pleasure of writing in Hail's Kitchen voice instead of Victorian literature voice, I plan to whole-ass it today.  And tomorrow.  And the next day.  And the next day.  If only I had some of those patted butt undies.

Believe it or not, I do have some recipes for you today -- that I cooked!  The first is a dish I now consume at least 4 times a week, as it is SO EASY and SO YUMMY.  The second is a pasta dish I threw together with veggies my mom handed me as I dashed out of her house one afternoon.  I am cooking a meal, a real meal, for a girl friend tonight, and as I previously vowed, I am whole-assing it today.  I will be sure to document every slice, dice and saute for you all.

I hope the sun is shining and the wind is not blowing wherever you are.  xoH  

Shelled, frozen edamame.  Steam in the microwave for 2 (or more minutes) in about 1 tbs of low sodium soy sauce.

This chili garlic sauce is my new obsession.  Sriracha is tasty too, but this stuff adds a wonderful garlicky element.  I add about 1 tsp.  Adjust for your taste buds. 

Hidden underneath those cute little pods is brown rice.  The edamame is quite capable of standing on its own though.

Pasta:

Quarter a handful of cherry tomatoes and dice a green pepper.

Saute the peppers and tomatoes, add crumbled turkey sausage (or omit), fresh corn kernels (or frozen).  Season with salt and pepper, and red pepper flakes for a bit of spice.  While this action is going on, boil the pasta and reserve about 1/2 cup of the pasta water.  

Add the cooked pasta, a handful of basil and parmesan cheese, as well as the reserved pasta water.  Toss well to coat.

Serve hot.  Shed tears for natural light.

Regularly scheduled programming to resume soon. But first, BACON!

Hail's Kitchen will resume its regularly scheduled programming soon -- you know, where I actually cook and post recipes.  I assure you.  I am still living vicariously through the meals I enjoyed across the pond.  

If you've ever eaten with me, or travelled with me, I am kind of a pain.  My cumbersome camera is attached to my body at all times.  Most people take photos of people and lovely vistas when they travel.  I mostly take photos of my meals. 

See:

My first meal in Dublin: Persian stew.

Not a meal, but certainly delicious!  Irish coffee.

The BEST fish and chips.  This fish (a whole fillet!) had a light, delicate breading that was not oily. Plus, mushy peas.

I am saying it again.  This was the BEST seafood stew I had ever had. Mussels, shrimp, scallops served with Irish soda bread.

Star anise in my stew!

Fresh oysters in Kinsale.
Served with worcestershire sauce - delicious!

My last meal in Ireland: bacon and cabbage.
Are you surprised?

What did I love most? The bacon.

First thing's first. I just purchased new coffee.  I ran out of my safe, organic, free-trade dark roast, and I decided to try something that has been taunting me for months: Dunkin' Donuts.  To be honest, their commercials are to blame.  I love those sleepy, jammy-clad women being drug  by their coffee cups into the coffee isle.  I relate to those women -- I am that woman each and every woman except I stagger to my coffee pot sans coffee cup, and I am not nearly as cute.

Anyway, commercial aside, their coffee is not bad.  Oddly, it smells buttery.  I was plowed over by the sweet buttery smell this morning when I opened the bag.  I would encourage you to buy a bag just to experience this.  

Moving on!  As I mentioned, I was shocked by the Irish fare.  Shocked and tickled.  In fact, my guidebook was enormously helpful in pointing out the culinary gold mines.  My travel partner, Krista, wanted to visit castles.  I wanted to visit cafes.  Go figure.

Ireland is experiencing a food revolution similar to our slow food movement.  Local farmers and producers are marrying well with local chefs and restaurant owners and as a result, Ireland has become a foodie's paradise.  Had I had more time and more money (obviously), I would have stayed for one of the many food festivals that were taking place the week after my departure.  Damn the timing! 

To kick things off, here is the full Irish breakfast.  Sausage, eggs, tomato, beans, the BEST BACON IN THE WORLD, white and black pudding.  I have heard rumors of this bacon.  I had to taste it to believe it.  It looks similar to our Canadian bacon -- thicker, less fatty -- but it tastes just like our bacon.  A.M.A.Z.I.N.G.  

Black and white pudding. For those of you who are squeamish, skip this part but really, put on your big girl panties.  Black pudding is in fact made mainly of blood, and the recipe varies a little, but the congealed blood is typically combined with grains, potatoes, bread and spices.  White pudding is made with pork. It tastes just like my mom's scrapple recipe, which is ground pork and cornmeal.  No one was entirely sure what makes up white pudding (oddly), but what I could gather from the most helpful waitress is it is made of ground pork and other entrails plus the grains, etc.  Both were very tasty, however, I did particularly love the white pudding.  Probably because it tasted like home.

What did I love the most, though?  The bacon.  I will go back one day just for the BACON.

Cutest little sugar cubes.

Marmalade tastes better in Ireland.

Bacon!

Black pudding: don't dog it 'till you try it.

Rest assured, I was not kidnapped by a leprechaun

Did you think I would ever return? Did you think that perhaps I had fallen victim to a leprechaun's charms, or perhaps I had been enchanted by the Book of Kells, or perhaps I succumbed to the left-lane driving, or perhaps I had drowned in a bottle of Irish whiskey.  The later is closest to the truth, unfortunately.

Friends, I have returned from my world travels, and I am sorry it has taken me so long to reestablish my comfy, womfy post here at Hail's Kitchen.  To be completely honest, I have had my arse thoroughly and painfully handed to me by my classes since my return. I know. You're crying elephant-sized tears for me.  But it's due time I settle back into my role as grad student and your humble host.  AND, it's midterms, which means I am HALF WAY THROUGH the semester!

Cheers to that:

I have so much to share with you that I am not entirely sure where to begin.  I suppose an appropriate place would be with this:

Alarming, yes?  Scared the snot out of me. Imagine my first right-hand turn!  Seriously. Think about that for a moment.  Weird.  Unsettling.  Scary. Makes one's butt-cheeks squinch a bit.

I finally settled in and actually enjoyed driving in the left-lane.  However, each and every time I went to buckle my seatbelt I grabbed for the belt with my left hand.  Damned conditioned response.  


Fortunately, we didn't end like these folks.  Yes, I took a picture. I had to tout my skills to my mom that I was a competent driver.

We were, though, not entirely unscathed:

Well, we did not have a SPARE TIRE only an odd contraption that shoots glue and air inadequately into the tire.  By the grace of all things good and holy did we manage to fix this flat tire.  We were able to drive to the tyre (tire) store the next morning where a nice lad named Sean removed a THREE inch piece of STEEL for a mere ten euro.  I am so thankful for not succumbing to the Irish roads and/or the Punto Grande.


Ireland truly lived up to all the stereotypes.  Green. Enchanting:

Need I say more?

After checking my email in the lobby of the hotel one morning, I returned to my shared room with my travel partner, whom I had NEVER met before identifying each other in the airport, to this image:

Best friends.  She was delightful.  My abs are still sore from giggling.  Also from eating so much damn good food, which I will devote an entire gushfest-post soon.  The food was surprisingly wonderful. I have such fun, fun things to share with you.

The wedding, which was the intent of the trip, was something out of a fairy tale.  Really, who gets married in Ireland and has 80 people travel from the US to celebrate with them?  Most epic love event of all time. 

While the sights and sounds and tastes of Ireland were delightful, seeing my old friends (and meeting my new friends: KRISTA!) was certainly the highlight. I rarely get to see these folks in my daily life . . . in the US!  So spending time with them in Ireland was magical.  

VOTE VOTE VOTE!

FRIENDS!!! Quickest post ever -- I have 2 min 18 seconds left on my internet.  I am alive and kicking in Ireland.  I can't wait to tell you all about it!  This is a reminder to pop on over to vote for PHO REAL!  Sending you love an hugs!

xoH

And . . . I'm out

I am humming the tune "Leaving on a Jet Plane" right now.  My bags are packed, well almost. My papers are completed.  My competition post has been entered.  I actually have two hotel reservations booked and will be sharing a rental car with another bridesmaid.  I sort of have my shit together, sort of. 

This is a call to all of you to vote for PHO REAL?! starting on Monday.  I will do my best to remind you while I am away, but if I can't please, please, please.  You got me through round one, let's get to round three!  

I promise to bring home loads of stories, surely about driving on the wrong side of the road. Lord help me. My camera has a full battery and an empty memory card. Good people of Ireland, here I come!  xoH

Challenge # 2: Pho real?!

My friends, I made it to round two!  Hip, hip, hooray!!! Do you know what this means?  I get to share with you the most delectable and most crave-inducing soup on the planet.  I tout a lot of foods here at Hail's Kitchen. How many times have I uttered the phrase "best ever?" Too many probably.  But, people, this soup.  THIS SOUP!

Pho: it's pronounced fuh, and it is a Vietnamese treasure.

Typically the broth is made by simmering beef bones with aromatics and spices to create a rich, flavorful broth that invites you to bathe in the stuff it is so luscious. Meatballs, tendons, thinly sliced beef, chicken, gizzards, tripe, and other organs are often served alongside thin rice noodles.    

In addition to having an obsession with the broth that boarders on irrational, I love the garnishes that accompany this soup; bean sprouts, cilantro, basil, lime wedges, sliced chilies.  

When I lived in Salt Lake City, I made a point to eat pho at least once a week.  If I didn't know what to cook for dinner -- looks like a pho night!  If I had a stomachache -- pho!  If had a lousy day at work -- pho!  Breakfast, lunch or dinner, this soup fits the bill.  Heals you heart and soul.  Promise. Girl scout's honor.  

Now that I no longer live in the fine metropolitan area of Salt Lake City, I have missed my weekly ritual.  SORELY.  I've always wanted to make pho at home but have been scared of the broth.  I had this impression that it was too complicated, too many ingredients, too much time. 

Well, I am not going to sugarcoat this.  While the process wasn't necessarily complicated, the ingredients were a challenge.  The fact that I live in a relatively rural location, my grocery stores don't have a ready supply of exotic spices like star anise.  Sigh.  But, that didn't derail my mission.  I adapted with anise seeds and included fennel bulb.  Was it ideal? Probably not.  Did it satisfy my craving? Most certainly!  

The smell of the broth made my eyes roll in the back of my head.  Neighbors, you are welcome. To say that this broth is aromatic is like saying I am happy to have made it to round two: gross understatements on both accounts.

I had to fiddle with my broth a bit, adding more fish sauce and more sugar, to get it perfect.  I felt a little like Goldilocks, but finally, I got it just right.  

Good things come in nondescript, plastic bags.

Like beef bones.

 This is where I fell short in the recipe accuracy department. Anise seeds had to suffice. On a side note, every time I use cheesecloth I feel like a WWI nurse.  I enjoy channelling my inner Ernest Hemingway . . . or not. 

I, however, did not fall short in charring the onions and ginger.  I nearly burned down my building, but hey, all in the name of competition. 

My soup paled in comparison to my garnish in terms of beauty.

Thinly sliced sirloin and rice noodles ready for their salty bath.

My broth was not as clear as it should have been, but it certainly satisfied. 

I no longer have to whine and cry because I have to drive 2.5 hours for pho.  

Vietnamese Pho or beef noodle soup

adapted from a conglomeration of recipes

broth:

5 pounds beef marrow or knuckle bones (my butcher only had marrow bones)

2 onions, charred (burned skin removed) and quarted

2 celery stalks, rough chopped

2 carrots, rough chopped

1, 4 inch piece of ginger, charred and cut lengthwise 

1 bulb fennel, quartered

6 cloves garlic, crushed

1/4 cup fish sauce

3 tbs sugar

2 tbs kosher salt

spices: 6 cloves, 1 cinnamon stick, 6 whole star anise (if you can find them) or 6 tsp anise seeds, 1 cardamom pod (if you can find it) 

6 quarts of water

the rest:

thin rice noodles, cooked according to the package (al dente is best)

1 lb sirloin, thinly sliced (slightly frozen helps with slicing)

lime wedges

cilantro

basil, thai basil (AGAIN if you can find it)

bean sprouts

chili peppers, sliced

First, parboil the bones in a large pot of boiling water.  This helps to rid them of any impurities.  Be prepared for a foul smell and even fouler water.  After ten minutes, rinse the bones and the pot.  Meanwhile, char the onions and ginger.  If you have a gas stove -- great!  If not, broil them in the oven until they are good and smokey. 

Return the bones to the pot along with the vegetables and spice bouquet.  Fill with with water. Bring to a boil and then reduce to a simmer.  Over-boiling causes cloudy broth -- check out my photos for a lesson of what NOT TO DO!  Allow the broth to simmer for at least 1.5 to 2 hours.  The longer the simmer, the greater the flavor.  

Strain out the vegetables and the beef bones.  Add the sugar, salt and fish sauce to the broth.  Be sure to taste and adjust accordingly to get the broth to your liking.  

To serve: in a big bowl, arrange a handful of sliced beef on al dente noodles.  Ladle in the hot broth.  Allow your guests to garnish their soup with the provided accoutrements: bean sprouts, cilantro, basil, sliced chilies and lime wedges.  Slurp and enjoy!

Dancing under a rainbow with a leprechaun, a Guinness in hand

I am trying to keep my cool this morning. I have felt like the Tasmanian Devil this week -- swirling around in dust cloud of my own chaos.

I leave for a certain foreign country in four days. I have been hydrating so my liver is prepared for all the Guinness and whiskey I plan to drink. My tummy is prepared for blood sausage and eggs. Beyond that preparation, guidebooks have yet to be opened. My bag is not even close to packed. I don't even have a hotel reservation. Flying by the seat of pants? Yeah, that's a fair observation.

My professors were all fine with me taking a week off of school. Sure, they said, have a great time! But . . . I'll need that paper before you leave. All three of them uttered the exact same words. Insert audible, painful sigh HERE. Can I get extra credit if I pay homage to Oscar Wilde?

The other tricky thing about this week is the food blog competition, which if you're reading this now and have not voted, I beg of you to finish reading this post and then GO VOTE. Thanks times infinity.

Back to the tricky part. The contestants who will move to the next round will be announced Friday. I leave for the airport on Friday, which would make it nearly impossible to bust out a classic dish from another culture that morning. So I busted mine out preemptively last night in the event that I make it to the next round. Fingers crossed.

Tricky part duo. If I make to the third round I will be in Ireland more than likely dancing under a rainbow with a leprechaun, a Guinness in hand. How in the name of pots of gold will I be able to 1. make a luxury dinner party for friends and 2. get an internet connection underneath a rainbow to post said dinner?

Well, I will be preparing the meal for a friend's 30th soiree dinner tonight and thus the luxury dinner party for friends. I have not planned a lick for this trip, but this food competition -- watch out! Sister's got mad foresight.

Here's a sneak peek of my dish for Friday, that is if you fine readers have voted for my lunacy.

I hope to post it's full glory Friday. Please send any intellectual energy my way, as I fear my papers are going to be more sixth grade than grad school. Until Friday, friends. xoH

Voting!!! and swoon-worthy sausage

It's Monday, September 20. Guess what that means? VOTING begins today for the Foodbuzz Project Food Blog competition! I feel like a radio announcer. All my loyal fans and readers -- all three of you -- please hustle over to Foodbuzz and vote. Please and thank you.

Here's how: click on my jazzy Foodbuzz profile to the right. This magically transports you to Foodbuzz where you will have to create an account to vote if you don't already belong to Foodbuzz. Don't panic. No credit card numbers or first borns will have to be traded -- just an email and password. You will then be armed with voting power. Vote on, good readers. Vote on.

In addition to coercing you to vote, I do have a recipe for this fine Monday morning.

Breakfast is my favorite meal to cook. Oddly, though, I am a horrific breakfast eater. In fact, my healthful and delicious breakfast of yogurt and granola is sitting mostly untouched to my right, but I am working on my third cup of coffee. Go figure.

The following recipe is noteworthy. The following recipe is company-worthy. The following recipe ROCKS JIMMY DEAN'S WORLD: homemade blueberry maple breakfast sausage. This sausage takes no time to throw together, it's fun to mush around, you can control the spice, and people, the combination of the sweet and salty and spicy is cosmic.

You will not be surprised to hear the following words coming out of my mouth, but, this is the best breakfast sausage on the planet. I can't wait to try other combinations -- nectarines or apples, ground elk sausage with huckleberries. Can you imagine? Swoon.

While I am dreaming of sausage recipes, please please please click on my profile and vote! I will love you forever and ever. Amen. Praise Jebus. Hallelujah. xoH

Jane's crazy mixed-up salt should be in your seasoning arsenal. If it's not, go buy some. Salty goodness.

I love how the pork tinges purple.

Eggs cooked in the same pan as the sausage = Good.

Blueberry maple breakfast sausage

1 lb ground pork

1 handful (about 1/2 cup) fresh blueberries, chopped

2 tbs fresh sage, chopped

1 tbs fresh thyme, chopped

1 tsp garlic salt

1 tsp black pepper

1 tsp salt

1.5 tsp crushed red pepper flakes (more if you like it spicier)

2 - 3 tbs maple syrup

In a bowl, combine the sage, thyme and spices. Stir well. Next add the pork, blueberries and syrup -- I use my hands to mix it all up. Form into patties. I fry them first in a skillet and then finish them off in the oven for about ten minutes to ensure they are cooked through. Serve hot and enjoy!

Confirmation: Zicam has not stolen my taste buds

Good morning. I have something idiotic to share with you this fine September morn. Something that is so quintessentially Hailey I could not let it go unposted.

Notice a similarity between these two containers?

Both share similar packaging and coloring. One is negligibly taller than the other, but otherwise these two containers look relatively identical. Yes? Am I correct in this observation?

These two containers hold very different products. Both are liquid. Both are tasty. One belongs in my coffee and one DOES NOT:

Can you guess which one I poured into my coffee without realizing my mistake and TOOK A SIP again without realizing my coffee hadn't really changed into the desired warm hue?

Two things: Zicam has not stolen my taste buds. Coffee spiked with chicken broth tastes like arse. Second: my abs are so sore from sneezing so much yesterday that I let out an audible yelp the last time I let out an "hachu." My Idaho History classmates are going to love me today.